An obsessive lover experiences great emotional highs and lows, can be very possessive and often very jealous lovers.

Are you an obsessive lover?

Often called Manic Lovers, they can be quite needy on the inside and so they place a great deal of pressure and importance on having a relationship. Manic lovers are into ‘ownership’ of the their partner and talk about them in possessive ways, like ‘my Lucy or my Jamie’.

An obsessive lover will avoid committing infidelity because they fear being found out. Marriage is the next stage of ‘ownership’ for them and their children can prove competition for them with their partners. If they split, then the children can often substitute for their partners and they can focus on them possessively.

An obsessive lover loves sex because they see it as reassurance of love. They are often anxious, insecure and jealous.

The best thing about Manic Lovers is their intensity and all consuming passion. On the down side jealousy, possessiveness, insatiability and co-dependency can kill the relationship if the other partner is not a Manic Lover.

However, one of the most harmful relationships is an obsessive one. Take this quiz to know if you are an obsessive partner.

Are you an obsessive lover?


You are dressed and ready to go out on a date when your partner calls to cancel due to a family emergency


After a long phone conversation, what's your usual way of saying goodbye?

You come home after spending all weekend with your partner to find out that your housemates are going out for the night? What do you do?

You've just woken up, what's the first thing that you do?

You go online to do some important work and find your partner online too. What do you do?

Are you an obsessive lover?
Red Flag! You are an out-and-out obsessive lover.
Stop being pushy and concentrate on other important things in life. You need to relax and trust your partner. Give them some space or things can only get worse. Consult a Relationship Coach or other professional to address these issues.
You are showing some worrying signs
You are borderline obsessive and this can be harmful if the obsession gets stronger. You need to take it easy and start diverting your attention to other things as well. Consider whether consulting a Relationship Coach or other professional will help you with better relationships.
You are normal, not obsessive at all.
Continue trying to be compassionate, ensure that you pay attention to your partner and enjoy your relationship.

Share your Results:


An obsessive lover may respond to coaching or therapy and can grow out of Manic Love.